50 Epic And Funny Sarcastic Quotes To Get You Through A Bad Day

funny sarcastic quotes

Looking for the best funny sarcastic quotes that will make your day? If you enjoy this particular mode of satirical wit, then we’ve got you covered in this post. Keep reading and enjoy!

Though communication experts typically advise us to avoid using sarcasm, this form of expression can have some unexpected benefits. Studies suggest sarcasm can make you a better person, whether you’re on the giving or the receiving end of sarcastic exchanges.

Though it’s often regarded as a low form of wit, sarcasm can help to make people brighter and more creative. If you’re a sarcastic person, that means you are cutting edge with your humor. Besides, you can almost get away with anything because no-one will ever understand what you really mean.

To stimulate your brain, below is our collection of meaningful, wise, and funny sarcastic quotes, sarcastic sayings, and sarcastic proverbs, collected from a variety of sources over the years.

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Funny Sarcastic Quotes to Make You Laugh Out Loud

1.) “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

Funny Sarcastic Quotes

2.) “Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.” –  Sophie Kinsella 

3.) “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.” – Daniel J. Boorstin

4.) “If you think nobody cares that you’re alive try missing a couple of payments.” – Anonymous 

5.) “It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.” – Paul Newman

6.) “I wonder what people do with all the time they save by writing “K” instead of “OK.”  – Anonymous

7.) “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain 

8.) “Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.” – Anonymous 

9.) “Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable than risk being happy.” – Robert Anthony

10.) “Now if you’ll excuse me… today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.” –  Anonymous

Sarcastic quotes that will prepare you to deal with society

11.) “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” — Anonymous

epic sarcastic quotes

12.) “People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.” –  Anonymous 

13.) “It is sometimes easier to be happy if you don’t know everything.” – Alexander Mccall Smith

14.) “I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by…” –  Anonymous

15.) “Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.” –  Groucho Marx

16.) “Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!” –  Anonymous

17.) “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams

18.) “I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.” –  Anonymous  

19.) “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

20.) “You don’t know something? Google it. You don’t know someone? Facebook it. You don’t know where something is? MOM!” – Anonymous 

Sarcastic quotes to express what you really feel on the inside

21.) “He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.” – Victor Borge

clever sarcastic quotes about life

22.) “If you don’t like me and still watch everything I do, b-tch you are a fan.” — Anonymous

23.) “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” –  Robert Frost 

24.) “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

25.) “If it’s free, it’s advice; if you pay for it, it’s counseling; if you can use either one, it’s a miracle.” – Jack Adams 

26.) “I don’t have X’s, I have Y’s. Like ‘Y the hell did I date you?'” — Anonymous

27.) “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright

28.) “If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.” — Anonymous

29.) “The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremendous boredom.” – Dave Barry

30.) “I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.” – Anonymous

Sarcastic quotes to boost your creativity

31.) “Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.” – Rita Mae Brown

sarcastic quotes about love

32.) “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous 

33.) “History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.” – Abba Eban

34.) “An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.” — Anonymous

35.) “When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.” – Bernard Bailey

36.) “What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous 

27.) “Politics: ‘Poli’ a Latin word meaning ‘many’; and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.” – Robin Williams

38.) “Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm lock is the police.” —Anonymous

39.) “I’d rather be partly great than entirely useless.” – Neal Shusterman

40.) “Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.” — Anonymous

Awesome quotes and sayings about sarcasm

41.) “The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.” – Robert A. Heinlein

Awesome sarcastic quotes

42.) “Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.” – Rene Descartes

43.) “Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.” – Anonymous 

44.) “People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.” – Calvin

45.) “I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.” – Anonymous

46.) “One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.” – Anonymous

47.) “My aunt and overprivileged cousin only recognize two states of being: glitter and grunge. And if you weren’t glitter, well, that only left one other option.” – Rachel Vincent

48.) “Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet.” –  Anonymous 

49.) “There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.” – Anonymous 

50.) “True friends are like diamonds – bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style.” – Nicole Richie

Did you enjoy these sarcasm quotes

Exercising your sarcasm muscle is beneficial in many ways. Making statements that defy their literal meaning, whether to get a laugh or to make a point, can boost creativity, stimulate the generation of ideas or help people find solutions to problems.

Granted, sarcasm can be a quick way to get misunderstood. But it isn’t necessarily a bad trait to have. Hopefully, the above quotes and sayings have reminded you why you should never feel bad about your cutting remarks.

Did you enjoy these funny sarcastic quotes and sayings? Which of the quotes was your favorite? Let us know in the comment section below. Also, don’t forget to share with your friends and followers.


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